The unofficial end

That's a wrap! We have officially ended camp at Christ Lutheran Church in Indianapolis, Indiana. As Caitlyn and I are driving back to Colorado and talking about our weeks together it seems like week one was just yesterday. Crazy how fast this summer went. In just one week I'll be at the lakehouse, three weeks I'll be back at Butler, and in four weeks I'll have finished my first few days of classes. Wow.

This past week brought its own challenges as usual. High maintenance youth groups, troubled campers, and last minute changes galore. Every day was brand new and I only got 2 small naps in this week! If that doesn't tell you how busy this last week was, I don't know what will ;)

This week I was challenged in how I handle unexpected situations and I really learned that I'm not as flexible as I think I am. I can take last minute things to a point but when it keeps coming, I lose my patience. I start to approach things with less grace and more frustration. And I love less like Jesus. This week God showed me that I need to love more and complain less. Go with the flow instead of trying to fight the current.

This summer has been more than I ever could have expected. God has completely rocked my world. I have met hundreds of new people, learned more about my weaknesses, met my best friend, grown in my strengths, seen people come to Christ, and connected to God in ways I never would've thought of. Crazy how one summer can change your life.

As I'm now mentally preparing to return to school and live in a house with 40 other girls I'm quite intimidated by the challenge I will find in being an on-fire Christian in a God-less environment. New roommate, new sisters, new year. It's scary. But God has reminded me over and over again this summer that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. This may be the end of my summer adventures but my journey with the Lord will continue, with all it's ups and downs that life brings. And so onward! Back to the real world and back to BU! :)

"Do not be afraid for I am with you. Do not be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand." - Isaiah 41:10

It's all downhill from here

This was the most challenging week of my life. Okay maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration, but it was difficult. While I was prepared for the loss of control that a custom camp brings, I was not prepared for how much this group wanted to change. It was like it wasn't even a week of hope. But God grew me more this week than all the others.

We started the week with hard and heavy hearts. We were just not excited or willing for this change in camp and you could tell. Sunday was a chaos that we had never had before. We were totally unprepared in heart, mind, and spirit. Yes this group was high maintenance and frustrating, however I didn't have to be so stubborn and complain every two minutes. We had the best volunteers yet and a completely energetic group that because of my frustration at the youth leaders and adults I missed the chance to bond with the kids. I felt like all week I just grew more and more angry at them for controlling everything. IT'S JUST NOT THE WAY WE DO IT!

That's a completely selfish thing to say.

This week wasn't about me, it was about them, their experience. Who cares what I think. And because of my insane amount of pride and stubbornness I missed all that God could have showed me earlier in the week. Thankfully, He broke through all of it last night and tonight.

He showed me that I really get in the way of things when I'm not flexible and I try to stick to my plans. And also made me realized that His relationship with me is a lot like my relationship with this group. My best analogy comes from the lyrics of country song "Hard to love" so here they are:
"I'm hard to love, hard to love. I don't make it easy, I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. I'm hard to love, hard to love. You say that you need me. I don't deserve it but I love that you love me."
I was especially hard to love this week. I mean, no one loves a selfish person. But Jesus loves me even when I can't see through my own stubbornness. How much more should I love others like Jesus when he laid down his life for a person like me. Sometimes I just shake my head at myself.

On a brighter note, one week left! I can't believe this summer is almost coming to an end. Crazy how fast it went!

To Rely on God's Strength

Before Summer staff I thought of fasting as a sort of diet in the name of God. All I knew of fasting was 30 hour famine. But this past week I must say that I really experienced more to fasting.

Thanks to my beautiful partner in crime Caitlyn I committed to a week long Daniel fast. Basically this follows the story in the Bible of how Daniel asked the king to not eat the food of the rich people but instead food of his Jewish people saying that after 10 days him and his men would be more fit than the rest of the king's men. At the end of the 10 days Daniel and his men came out stronger and filled with more wisdom and knowledge than anyone else in the kingdom. The fast consists of only eating fruits and vegetables.

This was by no means an easy task. It took a lot of self control but I found that I felt so much better physically and whenever I felt hungry, that feeling reminded me of why I was fasting. To rely on God's strength and not my own. And by relying on Him I was able to have the best week this summer, being more awake, energized, knowledgeable, and filled with the Spirit. It's hard to explain, but I felt so much closer to God this past week. And it was fulfilling to know that the good week wasn't because of my strength but that God used me to reach people even when I was covered in hives and wanted to curl into a ball on my air mattress.

To fast is to practice self control, commit to a goal, and rely on God to give you the strength no matter what comes your way.

Halfway there!

Well it's been one heck of a week. Last week Caitlyn and I got to go to Cinncinati to help the girls that run the week of hope there. It was so fun to see our friends again but admittedly strange watching them do our jobs. It was really cool to see God work through them even if it wasn't the way that we do things. Turns out there's more than one way to run a successful week!

Even though it was a great week in Cincy, I'm so glad to be home. Maybe I just like to be in control, but I love running my own camps. There's nothing like this job I have. Even though things happen like 2 car accidents in 5 days and your whole body breaking out in hives (yes. Both these things happened in one week!) there's no other job where you get to impact people's lives every day because of the power of God. God is moving and alive and being able to watch Him at work is an incredible blessing. The work is challenging and hard and tired but 100% worth it. It's one of those things you just have to reassure yourself that God would never give you more than you could handle with His help. Even hives all over your body on a Sunday.

It's hard to believe we're halfway done with camps. It feels like yesterday I was training in Colorado. In a mere 5 weeks I'll be back at Butler getting ready for school to start! Craziness.