This is just a quick one but I felt like I had to share...
So as of late April one of my best friends and I decided to make a pact with ourselves and God that we would focus on Him instead of finding a boyfriend. Too many times we found ourselves talking about our singleness or dwelling on getting the perfect guy and we realized that we're not going to find anyone close to good enough if God isn't the center of our lives. We needed to be the one, not find the one. And so, I find myself in the middle of this pact that involves not dating until I finish reading the Bible. Call me crazy, but I've really enjoyed it. I may only be in Exodus right now (2nd book of the Bible) but I'm learning a lot and I wanted to share with all of you something God is teaching me right now. The following is my journal entry from tonight.
The cool things about reading the Bible is that you can just pick it up, it's totally acceptable to write in it (encouraged really!), and it's a living book. It's a book that guides me, teaches me, and sometimes just hits me square in the face. For example, I got some quiet time on Sunday morning and was reading the beginning of Exodus when it hit me how God used Moses. When God appoints Moses to the enormous task of bringing His people out of Egypt, Moses replies that he was never an eloquent speaker and this job of going to talk to the Pharaoh of all people might not be for him. He refutes God's call. Then the Lord ends the conversation with "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."(Exodus 4:12). It wasn't about what Moses could or couldn't do, it was about what God had planned, what God was going to do with Moses. God worked beyond Moses' weaknesses to bring the entire nation of Israel out of Egypt. If God can do that, he can certainly work above and beyond my weaknesses. Just like when I finish a program and begin to think about all the things I did or didn't say, all the things I did wrong, all the things I shouldn't have said, God already has a plan. No matter how many times I doubt it, He will reign no matter what I do. I am the vessel, He has all the power. All I need to do is trust in that.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Shoes
It's hard to believe how much time has passed, feels like yesterday I was in the middle of deal with difficult people and now we just finished our best camp yet! Ill start out with a run down of last week.
Basically, we didn't even try to get this youth leader to follow the schedule. Despite multiple reminders about the 4th of July their group still came back at 1 am that night. I was so happy to see the back of their vans on Friday morning. What did happen though is that as the week went on I started paying less attention to the overwhelmingly large North Dakota group and began to interact with the other three and realized that they were actually having a good time. Once I began to see things clearer I could notice the value there was in not letting the ND group and how I felt about them affect how camp was run. Those three groups were some of my favorites yet. We went to the fireworks show with one, got $10 Starbucks grift cards from another, and got taken out to breakfast by the third on Friday morning. In the end we were so blessed by the other groups that the large one didn't even matter anymore. I'm really thankful for that change in perspective.
This week was the best yet. We had 4 equally sized groups and 67 wonderfully kind and serving hearts. I was overwhelmed by the way these campers came together this week to serve with patience and dedication. It was great! Both Kaitlyn and I were blessed by the enthusiasm and energy of the adult leaders, their leadership helped our camp so much. It was a joy to serve these campers rather than the work it can sometimes be. We also had the wonderful opportunity to work with Nicole, who served as our volunteer this week and was just hired to work full time at Group. We had a great time showing her the ropes of Week of Hope and getting some quality bonding time with the newbie. She was so great. Nicole brought an energy and joy to this week that I feel like I had lost from doing this for so long and she was a great reminder of what it looks like to serve God and serve others whole-heartedly. I am really going to miss her and the rest of the campers from this week.
One incredible thing that happened this week was Wednesday night. I feel like this was the first week that God not only moved in the lives of campers but also in my life. For the first time this summer I got to sit and watch His work unfold as people stayed in the chapel for over and hour after program, talking, receiving prayer, and all of that. I also got a chance to talk with one youth leader and have a conversation I never would have expected. At first Kat really intimidated me, she's got a very short way of talking and is a little rough around the edges but I realized Wednesday that her heart is very heavy but oh so soft. She got to talking to me about how the theme was hitting her and all the things she and her family were struggling with and then asked how she could pray for me. A) just cool. Why pay attention to me? Your kids need you more. So of course I got to talking to her about my future and how it very much scares me and how I don't know where I should be going and etc etc. She explained how she also had those feelings in college and someone told her this analogy that I'm telling you all: Jesus wants to buy us shoes. So he takes us to a shoe store and says "Buy some shoes." He doesn't say buy the red ones, or the Velcro ones, or the ones with the light up stars. He says "Buy shoes" and we get to pick. It's our choice and when we're serving The Lord and following the Word then the shoes we pick don't matter, it's the heart that does the work through the shoes that does. B) wow. Most of you know how much I've struggled with this and how little peace I've had about the direction my path is going and how I love analogies. Kat's words spoke straight into my heart and not only that she prayed over me. I'm so appreciative of her and her caring heart that even with everything she is going through she took the time to sit with me and give me someone to talk to. She might not have given me all the answers but she brought me a lot of peace. That's what happens when you let God use you.
These last few weeks are gonna be tough ones. Kaitlyn and I are definitely feeling the stress and need a good amount of sleep and God in order to make it and make it strong.
"We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Thessalonians 1:3
A dark (but still quality!) picture of Kaitlyn and our favorite youth group from week 3, watching fireworks from the top of the van!
Getting the chance to watch the sun set on Tuesday night!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
When the going gets tough...
"Ohhh...there's that feeling of camp stress again. I gotchu God, I see you."- Me after campers left morning program.
So my first two weeks went by pretty smoothly, surprisingly so and I was definitely questioning how God was challenging me those first week. It's almost like God knew that I would let my guard down a bit! I was thinking this camp week would be easy, I was uneasy about the fact one group would account for 2/3 of our camp but I convinced myself it would be okay because they were from North Dakota/Minnesota and those are nice people! I don't even know what I was thinking. These campers are still high schoolers, we're all still humans. Enter aggravating youth leader.
Warning: This next paragraph is a venting paragraph.
Honestly my first impression of this guy was good. He seemed nice, like he had it all together, he had all his forms and everything. Sunday with him went just fine but then on Monday morning we noticed things were a bit off. Problem A) He decided not to show up to morning program. Problem B) One of his leaders asked for the shower times to be changed to all girls and all boys shower times to guard the minds of the teenage boys. So we fixed problem B and changed the shower times for the entire camp and I thought problem A was just because he had something he had to address and that's fine. I understand that once. Except he then just did whatever he wanted to this morning as well and skipped the majority of program and decided to leave right after and not report to the main youth leader touchbase. Cool dude. Don't get a blessing from us, I won't take offense. Problem C) After program Monday night everyone was told they could take as much time as they needed in the chapel to process, pray, whatever. Mr youth leader then proceeds to stand up, tell his entire youth group to stay in the chapel, and then talk to whoever he wanted to talk to. Seriously? There are other people that want to take the activity seriously. If you don't, then leave the program when it's over. While all the other groups were herded out of there I stayed to clean up like usual and he has the nerve to ask us to leave. THIS IS NOT YOUR CAMP! Problem D) Our volunteers found said youth leader outside of his work location today on his laptop while all of his crew members were inside doing their job unsupervised. Why even pay to come all the way to San Diego if you're just going to be on your laptop. Seriously, man. What is your problem? The fact that this guy has 40 other people following his lead is absolutely aggravating to me because he is completely missing the point of this trip. It's almost like he cares more about being in charge than actually doing the work.
Moral of this story is we're struggling, I'm struggling. It's hard to love on someone who doesn't want to participate fully in everything and isn't respecting others' wishes to enjoy the program. It's frustrating because he doesn't really talk to us and he gives off this vibe like he doesn't really care what we think. I have yet to find a way to address all of these problems but hopefully I will by the time everyone comes back this afternoon. I know God has a bigger plan in all of this but right now my blood is boiling.
My prayers this week are obviously centered around this problem. That God would give all of us redshirts patience and love to deal with these problems with Godly grace, that we would still be able to minister to the other 3 youth groups that are here and enjoying themselves, and that God would consistently be teaching us and we would be malleable in his hands. He is greater than all things.
Some days it hits me harder than other how blessed I am with the people God has placed around me and today is no different. We are blessed with two of the most willing and kind and experienced redshirts yet, (sorry dad!) one of them who is a youth leader and a mom and extremely supportive of us. And even in my frustration I'm reminded of the wonderful support of my summer staff friends and my friends back home. Today I thank God for Lauren, for reminding me to "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer." (Romans 12:12) I'm thankful that even when I'm a little homesick and a lot frustrated I'm still an extremely blessed daughter of God.
So my first two weeks went by pretty smoothly, surprisingly so and I was definitely questioning how God was challenging me those first week. It's almost like God knew that I would let my guard down a bit! I was thinking this camp week would be easy, I was uneasy about the fact one group would account for 2/3 of our camp but I convinced myself it would be okay because they were from North Dakota/Minnesota and those are nice people! I don't even know what I was thinking. These campers are still high schoolers, we're all still humans. Enter aggravating youth leader.
Warning: This next paragraph is a venting paragraph.
Honestly my first impression of this guy was good. He seemed nice, like he had it all together, he had all his forms and everything. Sunday with him went just fine but then on Monday morning we noticed things were a bit off. Problem A) He decided not to show up to morning program. Problem B) One of his leaders asked for the shower times to be changed to all girls and all boys shower times to guard the minds of the teenage boys. So we fixed problem B and changed the shower times for the entire camp and I thought problem A was just because he had something he had to address and that's fine. I understand that once. Except he then just did whatever he wanted to this morning as well and skipped the majority of program and decided to leave right after and not report to the main youth leader touchbase. Cool dude. Don't get a blessing from us, I won't take offense. Problem C) After program Monday night everyone was told they could take as much time as they needed in the chapel to process, pray, whatever. Mr youth leader then proceeds to stand up, tell his entire youth group to stay in the chapel, and then talk to whoever he wanted to talk to. Seriously? There are other people that want to take the activity seriously. If you don't, then leave the program when it's over. While all the other groups were herded out of there I stayed to clean up like usual and he has the nerve to ask us to leave. THIS IS NOT YOUR CAMP! Problem D) Our volunteers found said youth leader outside of his work location today on his laptop while all of his crew members were inside doing their job unsupervised. Why even pay to come all the way to San Diego if you're just going to be on your laptop. Seriously, man. What is your problem? The fact that this guy has 40 other people following his lead is absolutely aggravating to me because he is completely missing the point of this trip. It's almost like he cares more about being in charge than actually doing the work.
Moral of this story is we're struggling, I'm struggling. It's hard to love on someone who doesn't want to participate fully in everything and isn't respecting others' wishes to enjoy the program. It's frustrating because he doesn't really talk to us and he gives off this vibe like he doesn't really care what we think. I have yet to find a way to address all of these problems but hopefully I will by the time everyone comes back this afternoon. I know God has a bigger plan in all of this but right now my blood is boiling.
My prayers this week are obviously centered around this problem. That God would give all of us redshirts patience and love to deal with these problems with Godly grace, that we would still be able to minister to the other 3 youth groups that are here and enjoying themselves, and that God would consistently be teaching us and we would be malleable in his hands. He is greater than all things.
Some days it hits me harder than other how blessed I am with the people God has placed around me and today is no different. We are blessed with two of the most willing and kind and experienced redshirts yet, (sorry dad!) one of them who is a youth leader and a mom and extremely supportive of us. And even in my frustration I'm reminded of the wonderful support of my summer staff friends and my friends back home. Today I thank God for Lauren, for reminding me to "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer." (Romans 12:12) I'm thankful that even when I'm a little homesick and a lot frustrated I'm still an extremely blessed daughter of God.
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