God is my crutch

As each day of training goes by I'm a little more intimidated by the amount of work I will have this summer. Turns out, my position holds a lot more responsibility than just knowing and presenting the program. With a Workcamp there are four staff members and a Director and MC. With Week of Hope there are two staff members. Period. Our roles are a lot more comprehensive than the Workcamp staff because we have a smaller camp and only two staff members. But camps are run very similarly. Thank the Lord we have a day-by-day checklist. One of my biggest anxieties is that I'll forget something important, and that we'll have to make showers. I know that I can present the program, that's easy for me (yes...public speaking is something I enjoy...). It's everything else that makes me feel very incompetent. As our community MC today said: "Wait God. You want me, ME, to do that?"


I think it's the immensity of the responsibilities of this job that is definitely going to make me depend on God. I can try to convince myself that I have the ability organize (ORGANIZE) the office, prepare the facility, take charge of kitchen supplies, talk on the phone with youth leaders and not sound like a sixteen year old, not make leaders freak out when they realize two 19-year olds are running the camp they paid for, and so many other things I don't even know yet on top of presenting the program. I can probably do like half of those things. Just these past three days of training I have learned that God has to be my crutch this summer. When I wake up in the morning and think, "Just 5 more minutes!!" I will have to rely on the strength of God to get me going (and maybe a little bit of coffee). I will have to ask for help. From my amazing partner, from our volunteers, and most importantly from God.

I've been warned that this job will break me. That I will be challenged in ways I can't even imagine. And I say, bring it. To grow in my faith I need to be challenged, overwhelmed. If I want to grow, I need to learn to trust God in everything I do.

Where am I going?

Well today was surely eventful. Basically, wake up, pack, airport, fly, airport, hang out with 100ish other summer staffers in the Denver airport, drive to Estes Park, unpack, eat, worship, and FIND OUT PARTNER AND LOCATION! Probably the most important part. But first, I need to say that I was SO surprised by everyone here. The encouragement I feel from all these people is incredible, and I haven't even known them for a full day. It's so evident that God is present here in Estes Park and I just pray that we keep this spirit all summer. I'm so excited to see what this summer will bring.

Now my partner is from Yorkville. Yes, that's right. Yorkville, Illinois. Basically the town next to me. We're already strangely similar. This is our first year on staff, we've never been to a Week of Hope before, we've been on three Workcamps, and basically we're from the same city. I'm honestly so excited to get to know Caitlyn this summer. I just know God has some great plans for us.

And now, my location.

I'm headed to the great city of Indianapolis, IN.

Yes. That is where I go to school.

BUT I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE THE NEW ADVENTURES I HAVE IN INDY!!

Here it comes...

I can't actually believe that in about 10 hours from now I'll be boarding my flight to Denver. I never thought this day would come, and now I can't believe it's here. The only word to describe what I feel right now is ready. Not ready in the sense that I have everything packed and the program completely memorized. More like ready for whatever comes my way. I feel so encouraged by my church, my friends, and most importantly my family. This past week has proved to me that no matter what God has in store for me, I've got some pretty incredible people backing me up, and I love every single one of them.

I don't know what God has in store for me this summer, who I'm going to be with, where we're going to go, or who's lives we're going to touch. But with Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and the amazing people I am blessed to have in my life, absolutely nothing will be able to stop the plans God intends for me to have.

So I'm encouraged, nervous, tired, excited, unprepared, anxious, hopeful, and most of all ready.

And this is my prayer tonight. Not only for myself, but also for my fellow, unknown Summer Staffers preparing for a potentially restless night of sleep (credit to Pastor Gary even though this might be out of order!):

May God go behind you to encourage you.
May God go in front of you to show you the way.
May God go beside you to be your best friend.
May God go above you to watch over you.
And may God go within you to give you peace, power, perseverance, and uncontainable joy.

And so, the adventure awaits!

Okay. Maybe I'm a little excited now...

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10

As many of you know, this summer I was hired to help lead a mission location for the summer. (I guess that's my simple job description.) My main responsibility (among many others) is to lead the program sessions every morning and evening. Since this is my first summer on staff, you could say I'm a little intimidated by this. All I know of staff is what I have seen by watching them my past three workcamps, mostly just the person leading the program. I can't even imagine that in a few short weeks that will be me, and that somehow by the time I land in Colorado next Monday (8 days!) I'll have this whole program memorized.

Before I got the call to join the Summer Staff team I was planning on going to Guatemala on a mission trip with my home church. My plan was to take those small two-ish weeks out of my summer for serving God. God's plan was to send me to some unknown city with some unknown girl for the ENTIRE summer. Originally, I thought this was a dream come true and that there was no way this was actually happening, why would I be called to talk to people all summer about Jesus? Crazy. Then after a few months of wrapping my head around the fact that I'm actually a program leader for Week of Hope, the end of my freshman year of college, the passing of my inspirational grandma, and a weekend away from real life, I arrived at church this morning emotionally drained and discouraged.

I mean seriously, I'm young, I'm inexperienced, I'm sometimes too spontaneous for my own good, and I'm unprepared. How could I possibly be ready to go to Colorado in 8 days? A main part of the message this morning was about the parable of talents in Matthew 25. God chose this morning to remind me that He has given me talents, some not even known to me yet, that He is calling me to use in this life. When I live my plans, I hide the talents He's given me. Yes, God has trusted me with talents and He wants to see me use them. Just like the rich man giving the gold talents to his servants, Godtrusts me. He knows I can handle what He has given me, even when I think I can't.

So the title of my summer blog is "God trusts ME" to remind me that no matter what may come along, I have God given talents to help me serve those I will encounter this summer. Through unexpected bumps in the road and times of discouragement, I will be reminded that it is God that trusts me.