Children of God

They warned us in training that each program would affect us differently each week, that even though you may know the ins and outs of the script, you'll learn something new each week. I didn't believe it at first, but now I do.

This week our camp is about the same size but only three groups, one of nine people, one of eighteen people, and one of forty people. I half expected the camp to be very much the same as last week just with different people forgetting that only a month ago I was praying to be challenged in all sorts of ways. And so I was surprised on Sunday when registration went way smoother than expected and Monday morning breakfast was ready at 7 AM! Then I'm all confident about the evening program, thinking to myself that, "I've got this. I know what I'm doing."

Wrong.

No I didn't mess up the program. And yes the word and concept was still told. But the kids did not participate the way I expected. I was expecting the pause, the realization that yes! Jesus CAN make everything new and he is still making right now. What I got was a bunch of goofing off and students not taking the reflection time seriously. And honestly, at first I was a little hurt by this. I mean, why aren't these kids listening to me? Which is a selfish and likely all too common thought. After some time alone to pray and ask for God's work to be done, I sighed and proceeded to clean up after the response activity. Then, Caitlyn stopped me and pointed something out. My response, my physical response, is a lot like Jesus' response to all of us. Sometimes he'll do something spectacular, or something completely normal, and we don't take him seriously. Maybe we sit and talk for a few minutes about what happened, and then continue going our own way. And that's when Jesus probably sighs, looks at us with pity, and starts to make the changes himself, whether we're willing or not.

What's discouraging for me is realizing that it is not in my power to make these students come to know and love Christ. It's just not. I am not more capable of doing that as I am making myself a genius so I can invent a teleportation machine. It's not gonna happen. But I can trust in the fact that God is going to make himself known to these kids, whether they notice him or not. If I'm part of that, then that's fabulous. And if not, I need to trust that God has other things in store for them, other things that will open their eyes to the wonder that is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And I need to trust that not every night will impact people, not every activity will bring results. But maybe it will, and that's why I need to try.

These kids desperately need to feel the love of Jesus, I know that for sure. My heart breaks for them because of it. I just pray that God would soften their hearts to be able to open their minds and see their potential, and see just how valuable they really are.