As each day of training goes by I'm a little more intimidated by the amount of work I will have this summer. Turns out, my position holds a lot more responsibility than just knowing and presenting the program. With a Workcamp there are four staff members and a Director and MC. With Week of Hope there are two staff members. Period. Our roles are a lot more comprehensive than the Workcamp staff because we have a smaller camp and only two staff members. But camps are run very similarly. Thank the Lord we have a day-by-day checklist. One of my biggest anxieties is that I'll forget something important, and that we'll have to make showers. I know that I can present the program, that's easy for me (yes...public speaking is something I enjoy...). It's everything else that makes me feel very incompetent. As our community MC today said: "Wait God. You want me, ME, to do that?"
I think it's the immensity of the responsibilities of this job that is definitely going to make me depend on God. I can try to convince myself that I have the ability organize (ORGANIZE) the office, prepare the facility, take charge of kitchen supplies, talk on the phone with youth leaders and not sound like a sixteen year old, not make leaders freak out when they realize two 19-year olds are running the camp they paid for, and so many other things I don't even know yet on top of presenting the program. I can probably do like half of those things. Just these past three days of training I have learned that God has to be my crutch this summer. When I wake up in the morning and think, "Just 5 more minutes!!" I will have to rely on the strength of God to get me going (and maybe a little bit of coffee). I will have to ask for help. From my amazing partner, from our volunteers, and most importantly from God.
I've been warned that this job will break me. That I will be challenged in ways I can't even imagine. And I say, bring it. To grow in my faith I need to be challenged, overwhelmed. If I want to grow, I need to learn to trust God in everything I do.
This is great. I love reading these and I love you. This makes me think of fall retreat. "I can't... But Jesus can!" (: because I would say, judging by our room, organization isn't a strong point. And if this job makes you start drinking coffee I will be so proud haha (: And there was also a quote I found that I love "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you." okay, I'm done now... bye!
ReplyDelete